Roman legions, even in their earliest incarnations, were superior to phalanges; this was not because they were an improved version of a phalanx but because of several fundamental differences at the very core of their conception. The legions fought in a way that drew upon lessons learned in the archaic phalanx and adopted the fluid principles of Homeric combat while maintaining the strengths provided by an organized formation as was found in the classical phalanx. The Romans’ ability to streamline ranged and close quarters combat into a single fighting style, organize themselves into a flexible formation, make use of the back and forth Homeric style of combat, and employ a number of troop types is what ultimately allowed them to triumph over not only Greece, but also the entire Mediterranean and beyond.
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WHAT: I was not entirely grounded.
WHERE: First sentence.
WHY: While this sentence is a clear and efficient introduction, I think you could add more. Give us a time (the period when legions came into, and fell out of, use?) and a significant event (its importance to the Roman conquest of the Mediterranean? Or a specific battle against a foreign enemy with a different style of fighting, and its outcome?) in order to really introduce your topic before you get to the nitty-gritty.
WHAT: I was confused.
WHERE: Second sentence.
WHY: The “fluid principles of Homeric combat” is difficult for me to grasp. I know you’ll explain this later in the paper, but it would be helpful if you could say something specific about the links between Homeric combat and Roman legionary tactics (e.g. the challenge? the head-on approach?).
WHAT: I was overwhelmed.
WHERE: Third sentence.
WHY: This is a solid thesis but it is too wordy for the reader to digest in a single pass. Can you break it up into two sentences? Or else eliminate details that don’t need to be there. Also, the “Homeric combat” is better explained here, which makes me question why it is included in the second sentence as well as your thesis. Eliminate repetition and your introduction will be stronger.