Women in ancient Greece were often ignored when the history of Greece was retold. They were seemingly insignificant compared to the men and their roles were often limited to positions in the home. The women of Sparta challenged traditional roles in Greece and all but demanded equality. An anomaly, Spartan women were outspoken and educated—startlingly so to neighboring regions. The role of women in Sparta was heightened, especially when compared to their Athenian sisters, who were barely considered better than slaves.
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1) I felt confused towards the end because it was difficult to pick out a very clear thesis sentence; however, I definitely understand what the essay is going to be about.
2) I felt a little lost in the middle because I wasn’t sure how your argument will be laid out.
3) I felt interested throughout the introduction paragraph; the topic is fascinating and definitely grabbed my attention. Most of the introduction functioned very well as a hook, but just didn’t follow up by laying out clear ideas.