At first I would say I was very interested in the third sentence of your introduction because you took a firm position that sports were an essential part of life for the Greeks despite comments from those who say otherwise. After that i was a little confused by your fourth sentence which didn’t come together very well and I didn’t understand what makes sports the “debate of the time.” In finishing the introductory I wasn’t as excited as before because of your word choice in the last two sentences. You said that sports were useful in “being a better person.” I feel you can come up with a better word or phrase than that to describe the usefulness of sports. I feel that more supporting references or something that makes your argument stronger and more interesting all the way through would help.
I think you meant “sheer” instead of “shear” in the fourth sentence.
At first I would say I was very interested in the third sentence of your introduction because you took a firm position that sports were an essential part of life for the Greeks despite comments from those who say otherwise. After that i was a little confused by your fourth sentence which didn’t come together very well and I didn’t understand what makes sports the “debate of the time.” In finishing the introductory I wasn’t as excited as before because of your word choice in the last two sentences. You said that sports were useful in “being a better person.” I feel you can come up with a better word or phrase than that to describe the usefulness of sports. I feel that more supporting references or something that makes your argument stronger and more interesting all the way through would help.
I think you meant “sheer” instead of “shear” in the fourth sentence.